How to Write a Eulogy: Step-by-Step Guide with Examples
- Lastly.com
- May 13
- 18 min read
Updated: 13 hours ago
Last Words Matter™
The stories we share often become part of how a person is remembered.
The words spoken at a funeral often become some of the most remembered words a person will ever hear about someone they love. A eulogy is more than a speech — it is a final tribute, a reflection on a life, and an opportunity to share the memories, values, and moments that mattered most.
And when the time comes to write a eulogy, many people feel overwhelmed by the pressure to say everything perfectly.
You may be grieving, emotionally exhausted, and unsure where to even begin.
You may be wondering:
What should I say?
How personal should I be?
What if I cry?
What if I leave something important out?
How do I properly honor their life?
The truth is, meaningful eulogies are rarely perfect.
The most powerful tributes are often the most honest ones — stories shared from the heart, memories that reflect who someone truly was, and words that help family and friends remember the impact they had on others.
Whether you are writing a eulogy for a parent, spouse, grandparent, sibling, or close friend, this guide will walk you step-by-step through the process, including examples, structure ideas, and practical tips to help you prepare a meaningful tribute.
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Planning a funeral service, writing an obituary, or being asked to speak about the life of someone you loved can feel both like an honor and an enormous responsibility.
For some people, writing the eulogy is the hardest part. For others, standing in front of family and friends to deliver it can feel even more overwhelming—especially while grieving themselves.
"A meaningful eulogy is not about polished public speaking. It is about sincerity, reflection, and love."
During moments like these, many people worry about saying the wrong thing, becoming emotional, or not fully capturing the person’s life and legacy.
The good news is:You do not have to do it perfectly.
A meaningful eulogy is not about polished public speaking.
It is about sincerity, reflection, and love.
Whether you’re writing for a parent, spouse, sibling, grandparent, or friend, this guide will help you write a heartfelt eulogy step-by-step—with examples, templates, practical tips, and comforting guidance along the way.
Need help writing a eulogy?
Answer simple questions, in our LifeReview™, and we’ll guide you in creating a heartfelt eulogy you can confidently deliver.
Before You Begin
You do not need to be a professional writer or speaker to give a meaningful eulogy.
The people listening will not remember whether every sentence was polished perfectly.
They will remember your love.
They will remember your sincerity.
And they will remember the life being honored.
Sometimes the most meaningful words are the simplest ones.
If you are navigating the first days after losing someone, you may also find it helpful to read our step-by-step guide on what to do immediately after a death, including funeral planning, notifying family members, and handling important next steps.
What Is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech or written tribute that honors and remembers someone who has passed away. It is typically delivered during a funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life.
A eulogy often includes:
stories and memories
reflections on the person’s character
meaningful life moments
personality traits
accomplishments
lessons they taught others
the impact they had on family and friends
More than anything else, a eulogy is an opportunity to celebrate a life and help others remember what made someone special.
Unlike an obituary, which is usually more informational and chronological, a eulogy is emotional and deeply personal.
It focuses less on dates and more on meaning.
Difference Between a Eulogy and an Obituary
Many people confuse eulogies and obituaries, but they serve different purposes. While a eulogy is spoken during a funeral or memorial service, an obituary is a written tribute that shares important life details, family information, and service arrangements.
If you also need help writing an obituary, our obituary templates and examples guide includes step-by-step instructions, fill-in-the-blank templates, and real examples.
Obituary
An obituary is a written announcement of a person’s passing. It usually includes:
birth and death information
family details
funeral service information
life milestones
career accomplishments
Obituaries are often published online, in newspapers, or through funeral homes.
Eulogy
A eulogy is spoken during a funeral or memorial service and focuses more on:
personal stories
emotional reflection
meaningful relationships
character and personality
lasting memories
An obituary informs people that someone lived.
A eulogy helps people remember how they lived.
How Long Should a Eulogy Be?
Most eulogies are:
between 5 and 10 minutes long
approximately 500–1,500 words
Shorter is often more powerful.
"You are not trying to tell every story. You are trying to honor a life."
You do not need to summarize every detail of someone’s life. A few meaningful stories and heartfelt reflections are usually more memorable than a long speech filled with facts.
If the funeral home, church, or memorial venue has time limitations, they may provide guidance beforehand.
As a general rule:
3–5 minutes is common
10 minutes is usually the maximum
Remember:You are not trying to tell every story.
You are trying to honor a life.
How to Write a Eulogy in 7 Simple Steps
Step 1: Reflect on Memories
Before writing anything, spend time thinking deeply about the person.
Ask yourself:
What made them unique?
What moments stand out most?
What did people love about them?
What lessons did they teach?
How did they make others feel?
Write down:
stories
phrases they often said
personality traits
funny moments
meaningful memories
accomplishments
favorite traditions
Do not worry about organization yet.
Simply gather memories first.
Photos can also help bring back meaningful moments and emotions.
Step 2: Choose a Theme
Many meaningful eulogies revolve around one central theme.
Examples include:
kindness
humor
resilience
generosity
faith
loyalty
perseverance
devotion to family
A theme helps the eulogy feel emotionally connected rather than jumping randomly between stories.
For example:
“If there’s one thing everyone knew about my mother, it’s that she always made people feel welcome.”
That single idea can guide the entire tribute.
Step 3: Introduce Who They Were
Early in the eulogy, help everyone understand the person being remembered.
You may include:
where they grew up
family relationships
career or passions
hobbies and interests
personality traits
what others admired most
Not everyone attending may have known every part of their life.
Keep this section warm, conversational, and personal.
Step 4: Share Meaningful Stories
This is the emotional heart of the eulogy. Stories create connection.
They allow people to:
laugh
reflect
cry
remember
feel close to the person again
The best stories are often simple ones.
A small memory told sincerely is usually more meaningful than something dramatic.
Anyone can list dates, milestones, and accomplishments.
But the most memorable eulogies are personal.
They reveal:
the little habits
the traditions
the inside jokes
the quiet acts of kindness
the way someone made others feel
Those are the details that truly bring a person back into the room.
You might include:
childhood stories
funny family moments
acts of kindness
favorite traditions
memorable vacations
life lessons
moments of courage
stories that reveal character
Authenticity matters more than perfection.
Step 5: Talk About Their Impact
A meaningful eulogy explains how the person affected others.
Consider:
What values did they pass on?
What made them unforgettable?
How did they make people feel?
What legacy did they leave behind?
What will people always remember about them?
Often, a person’s greatest legacy is not what they achieved—but how they loved others.
Step 6: End with Meaning and Comfort
The ending of a eulogy should offer closure, gratitude, love, or reflection.
You might:
say goodbye
express gratitude
share a final memory
include a favorite quote or scripture
reflect on their legacy
speak directly to them
A meaningful ending does not need to be dramatic.
Sometimes the simplest words are the most powerful:
“We will carry your love with us always.”
Step 7: Practice and Keep It Simple
Read the eulogy aloud several times before the service.
This helps with:
pacing
confidence
emotional preparation
natural delivery
It is completely okay if you cry.
Pause when needed.Take a breath.Bring water.
No one expects perfection.
People are simply grateful you stood up to honor someone they loved.
What Should Be Included in a Eulogy?
One of the hardest parts of writing a eulogy is deciding what to include.
It can feel overwhelming trying to summarize an entire life in just a few minutes. Some parts of the person’s life may have happened before you even knew them. And even if you shared decades together, there are likely stories and experiences you never fully saw.
That’s why writing a eulogy is not about documenting every fact or achievement.
It’s about capturing the spirit of the person and sharing the moments that made them memorable to others.
The stories, memories, and small personal details are often what people remember most.
You do not need to include everything.
Focus on the moments, qualities, and memories that best capture the spirit of the person you loved.
Below are ideas and prompts that may help you organize your thoughts.
Early Life and Childhood
You may want to include:
when and where they were born
parents and siblings
childhood memories
schools attended
nicknames
early personality traits
sports or activities
favorite childhood stories
These details help paint a fuller picture of the person’s life journey.
Relationships and Family Life
Consider including:
marriage or significant relationships
children and grandchildren
lifelong friendships
family traditions
how they cared for others
the role they played in the family
Sometimes the smallest family memories become the most meaningful during a eulogy.
Career, Passions, and Interests
Many people are remembered not just for what they did—but for what they loved.
You might mention:
career achievements
volunteer work
hobbies and crafts
music or art
gardening
cooking
travel
military service
community involvement
faith or spiritual life
These details help people remember how the deceased spent their time and what brought them joy.
Personality and Legacy
Think about:
what made them unique
how they made people feel
qualities others admired
funny sayings or habits
lessons they taught
values they lived by
You may also want to include:
favorite quotes
poems
scripture passages
song lyrics
meaningful traditions
Above all, focus on what truly captures their heart and spirit.
A Simple Eulogy Template
If you are unsure where to begin, this simple template can help guide you.
Opening
“Thank you all for being here today to celebrate the life of ______.”
Introduce the Person
“Many of you knew ______ as someone who…”
Share Personal Stories
“One memory I’ll always hold onto is…”
Reflect on Their Character
“They had a way of making people feel…”
Talk About Their Impact
“The lessons they taught us will stay with us forever…”
Closing
“We will miss them deeply, but we will carry their love and memory with us always.”
Need help organizing your thoughts?
Our guided Eulogy LifeReview™ helps you reflect on memories, gather meaningful stories, and shape them into a thoughtful tribute you can personalize and share.
Expanded Eulogy Examples
One of the hardest parts of writing a eulogy is figuring out how to turn memories and emotions into actual words.
That’s why examples can be so helpful.
As you read through these sample eulogies, remember:you do not need to write something perfect or poetic.
The most meaningful eulogies are usually the most sincere.
Even simple memories and heartfelt reflections can create a deeply moving tribute.
Short Eulogy Example
“Thank you all for being here today.
It’s difficult to put into words what John meant to so many people. He had a quiet way of making others feel comfortable, valued, and welcomed. He didn’t need to be the loudest person in the room to make an impact.
John loved deeply, laughed easily, and always showed up when someone needed him. Whether it was a phone call, a kind word, or simply sitting beside you during a difficult moment, he had a way of making people feel less alone.
What I will remember most is how present he was with the people he loved. He made ordinary moments feel important.
We will miss him deeply, but we are grateful for the gift of having known him.”
Eulogy Example for a Father
“My father taught me what love looked like through consistency. He showed up.
Every single time.
He showed up for school events, family dinners, difficult conversations, celebrations, and all the ordinary moments in between. He worked hard not because he wanted recognition, but because he wanted his family to feel secure and cared for.
As a child, I thought my dad could fix anything. And honestly, most of the time he could.
Whether it was something broken around the house or a difficult season in life, he approached problems calmly and steadily. That steadiness became the foundation our family stood on.
But beyond being dependable, he was incredibly kind.
He treated people with respect regardless of who they were. He never made someone feel small. He listened carefully, helped quietly, and gave generously without needing attention for it.
Some of my favorite memories are actually the simplest ones:sitting together watching a game, family cookouts, long drives, his terrible jokes that somehow got funnier over time.
Those ordinary moments became the moments that mattered most.
My father may no longer be here physically, but the lessons he taught us continue in the way we live, love, and care for one another.
And I think that is one of the greatest legacies a person can leave behind.”
Eulogy Example for a Mother
“My mother had a way of making people feel safe.
No matter what was happening in life, being around her made things feel lighter somehow. She listened without judgment, loved without condition, and gave so much of herself to the people around her.
She was the heart of our family.
She remembered birthdays, checked in on everyone, made holidays feel magical, and somehow always knew when someone needed encouragement—even before they said anything.
One thing I admired most about my mother was her quiet strength.
There were seasons in life when she carried enormous burdens, yet she continued showing kindness and compassion to others. She taught us that strength does not always look loud or dramatic. Sometimes strength looks like patience, sacrifice, grace, and showing up for people day after day.
Some of my favorite memories are of simple moments in the kitchen talking while she cooked, laughing together during family gatherings, or hearing her voice on the phone after a hard day.
Those moments felt ordinary at the time.
Now they feel priceless.
The love my mother gave this family will continue shaping our lives forever.
And while we will miss her deeply, we are so grateful that we got to call her ours.”
Eulogy Example for a Friend
“Some friendships change your life forever.
That was ______.
From the moment you met them, you felt like you mattered. They had a way of making people feel included, accepted, and understood.
They celebrated your successes like they were their own and stood beside you during difficult moments without hesitation.
One of my favorite things about them was their ability to make people laugh. Even terrible situations somehow became manageable when they were around because they brought so much energy and light into the room.
But beyond the laughter, they were deeply loyal.
They showed up.They checked in.They remembered the little things.
That kind of friendship is rare.
I think all of us here are better people because we knew them.
And while it’s incredibly difficult to say goodbye today, I know the memories we shared with them will continue living inside us for the rest of our lives.”
Eulogy Example for a Veteran
“Today we honor not only a beloved father, grandfather, and friend—but also a man who served his country with quiet courage and deep humility.
Like many veterans, ______ rarely spoke at length about his time in the military. He never sought recognition or praise for his service. But those who knew him understood that his experiences shaped the values he carried throughout his life: discipline, loyalty, strength, sacrifice, and an unwavering commitment to others.
He believed in doing the right thing even when it was difficult.
He believed in showing up for people.
And he believed that actions mattered more than words.
The same steady presence that made him a respected service member also made him an incredible husband, father, grandfather, and friend.
He protected the people he loved.He worked hard without complaint.And he carried himself with humility and dignity throughout his life.
One thing I will always admire about ______ was his quiet strength. He did not need attention or recognition to make an impact. You simply felt safer, calmer, and more grounded when he was around.
Some of my favorite memories are not grand moments at all.
They are the simple things:hearing his stories, watching him help others without hesitation, seeing the pride he had for his family,and witnessing the deep respect he showed toward others.
His service to this country was honorable.
But perhaps his greatest legacy was the way he served the people in his everyday life—with loyalty, generosity, patience, and love.
Today we grieve this loss deeply.
But we are also incredibly grateful.
Grateful for his sacrifices. Grateful for his example. And grateful for the life he lived so fully and honorably.
Though he may no longer walk beside us, his strength, love, and legacy will remain with us always.”
Families honoring a veteran may also wish to explore military funeral honors and memorial benefits available through the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
Funny Eulogy Example
“If there’s one thing everyone here knows about Mike, it’s that he never met a stranger.
Seriously.
He could walk into a grocery store for milk and somehow come out forty-five minutes later with three new friends and invitations to two barbecues.
Mike had a gift for turning ordinary situations into unforgettable stories.
Family vacations were never simple.Cooking with him usually involved setting off a smoke detector.And somehow every board game night ended with him passionately arguing over rules no one else cared about.
But what made Mike special wasn’t just that he made people laugh.
It was that he made people feel comfortable.
He brought warmth into every room. He made gatherings louder, happier, and more alive simply by being there.
Even during difficult moments, Mike found ways to lift people up. He reminded us not to take life too seriously and to appreciate the people around us while we have them.
Today we grieve his loss deeply.
But I think one of the best ways we can honor Mike is by carrying forward the joy, laughter, and connection he brought into all of our lives.”
Is It Okay to Use Humor in a Eulogy?
Many people wonder whether humor is appropriate during a funeral or memorial service.
In most cases, the answer is yes.
Laughter can be incredibly healing during grief.
During a time when people have been emotionally exhausted, grieving, and solemn for days, even a brief moment of laughter can provide tremendous relief.
Humor has a way of reconnecting people not just to the sadness of loss, but to the joy of the person’s life.
In many cases, a funny memory or familiar story becomes one of the most healing moments of the service because it reminds everyone that the person being remembered lived fully, loved deeply, and brought happiness to others.
Humor can:
reduce tension
help people feel connected
create warmth
celebrate personality
make memories feel vivid again
The key is to use humor respectfully.
Avoid:
embarrassing stories
offensive jokes
sarcasm
stories that may upset family members
Gentle, loving humor is often the most meaningful.
How to Start a Eulogy
Starting is often the hardest part.
You do not need a perfect opening.
Simple and sincere is best.
Here are a few approaches:
Gratitude Opening
“Thank you all for being here today to celebrate the life of ______.”
Memory Opening
“One of my favorite memories of ______ is…”
Reflective Opening
“It’s difficult to put into words what this loss means to all of us.”
Quote Opening
“______ always used to say…”
Humorous Opening
“If there’s one thing everyone here knew about ______, it’s that…”
How to End a Eulogy
Ending a eulogy can feel emotionally difficult.
You may want to:
offer comfort
say goodbye
express gratitude
reflect on legacy
share hope
Here are a few example closings:
“Your love will remain with us always.”
“Though we miss you deeply, we are grateful for every moment we shared.”
“You may be gone from our sight, but never from our hearts.”
“Thank you for a life well lived and a love well shared.”
Preparing to Give a Eulogy
For some people, writing the eulogy is difficult.
For others, speaking publicly is even harder.
If you feel nervous, remember:Most people attending the funeral or memorial service are not evaluating your speaking ability.
They are listening because they cared about the person being remembered and want to hear meaningful stories and reflections about their life.
In fact, many people in attendance will likely appreciate your willingness to stand up and speak during such an emotional time.
Even if you stumble over words, become emotional, or need to pause, your audience will almost certainly respond with compassion and understanding.
No one expects a flawless performance.
Many families choose to prepare both a eulogy and an obituary together, since both help preserve memories and celebrate a life well lived. You can also explore our obituary writing guide for obituary templates, obituary examples, and practical writing tips.
Practice Aloud
Reading the eulogy aloud several times will help:
reduce nerves
improve pacing
increase confidence
help the speech sound more natural
One of the best ways to deliver an engaging eulogy is to think of it less as a formal speech and more as a personal conversation.
Imagine sitting with family members and sharing meaningful memories about someone you loved.
That warmth and sincerity often resonate far more deeply than polished or overly formal language.
Bring Printed Copies
Print at least two copies:
large font
double-spaced
easy to read
This makes it easier to stay composed if emotions arise.
Bring Water
Dry mouth and emotional pauses are common.
A bottle of water nearby can help you regroup if needed.
Speak Slowly
Most people rush when nervous.
Slow down. Pause often. Allow emotional moments to breathe.
Silence is okay.
What If I Cry During a Eulogy?
Many people worry about becoming emotional while delivering a eulogy. Grief can affect concentration and emotional processing in unexpected ways, especially during funeral planning.
But tears are not a sign that you are failing.
They are a reflection of love, connection, and grief.
In fact, emotional moments often become the most meaningful parts of a eulogy because they remind everyone listening how deeply the person was loved.
If you need to:
pause
breathe
collect yourself
sip water
...that is completely okay.
You do not need to apologize for emotion.
Your grief reflects your love.
Can More Than One Person Give a Eulogy?
Absolutely.
While traditionally one person delivers the eulogy, many families choose to have multiple people speak.
This can allow different people to share:
childhood memories
family stories
work experiences
friendships
spiritual reflections
If multiple people participate:
coordinate ahead of time
avoid repeating stories
keep timing in mind
Sometimes one person gives the primary eulogy while others share shorter reflections.
There is no single “correct” approach.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Trying to Sound Perfect
A eulogy should sound sincere—not overly formal or rehearsed.
Including Too Much Information
You do not need to summarize an entire lifetime.
Focus on meaningful memories instead.
Making the Eulogy Too Long
Long speeches can become emotionally exhausting for both the audience and the speaker.
Speaking Too Quickly
Nerves often cause people to rush.
Slow down and allow moments to breathe.
Using Inappropriate Humor
Humor should comfort and celebrate—not embarrass or shock.
Making It Entirely About Yourself
Remember that everyone attending is grieving too.
Include stories and reflections that help others connect.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should you say in a eulogy?
A eulogy should include meaningful memories, personal stories, character traits, and reflections that help honor the person’s life and impact. The most memorable eulogies are sincere, personal, and focused on how the person made others feel.
How long should a eulogy be?
Most eulogies are between 5 and 10 minutes long, or approximately 500–1,500 words. Shorter eulogies are often more powerful because they remain focused and emotionally engaging.
Is it okay to cry during a eulogy?
Absolutely. Many people cry while giving a eulogy. Tears are a natural reflection of grief, love, and connection. Most people attending the service will be understanding and compassionate if you become emotional.
Can a eulogy be funny?
Yes.
Humor can provide warmth and healing during grief when used respectfully. Funny stories and lighthearted memories often help celebrate the person’s personality and create emotional balance during the service.
Who usually gives the eulogy?
A eulogy is often given by:
a spouse
child
sibling
close friend
grandchild
clergy member
or anyone who shared a meaningful connection with the deceased
There are no strict rules about who may give a eulogy.
Can more than one person give a eulogy?
Yes.
Many families choose to have multiple people speak during the service. Different speakers may share different perspectives, memories, or parts of the person’s life.
What if I don’t know what to say?
Start small.
Focus on:
one meaningful memory
one lesson they taught you
one quality you admired
one story that captures who they were
You do not need to summarize an entire life to create a meaningful tribute.
Should I memorize the eulogy?
No.
Most people read from a printed copy or notes. In fact, having the eulogy written out completely can help reduce anxiety and provide reassurance if emotions become overwhelming during the service.
What should you avoid in a eulogy?
Avoid:
embarrassing stories
inappropriate humor
unresolved family conflicts
overly negative memories
excessive length
making the speech entirely about yourself
The focus should remain on honoring the person’s life respectfully and sincerely.
How do you end a eulogy?
Many people end a eulogy with:
a message of gratitude
a meaningful quote or scripture
a reflection on the person’s legacy
comforting words for family and friends
or a simple goodbye
Often, the most meaningful endings are also the simplest.
10 Things You Should Know Before Writing a Eulogy
1. No one expects perfection.
People will remember your sincerity, not flawless delivery.
Many funeral homes and memorial services also provide guidance and timing recommendations for speakers. Organizations like the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) offer additional funeral planning and memorial resources for families navigating loss.
2. It’s okay to ask for help.
You do not have to carry the burden alone.
3. Stories matter more than facts.
Personal memories create emotional connection.
4. Write for the audience, not just yourself.
Help everyone gathered feel connected to the person being remembered.
5. Humor can be healing.
Laughter can provide comfort during grief.
6. Write the eulogy word for word.
Having a complete copy will help if emotions take over.
7. Keep it concise.
Meaningful does not have to mean lengthy.
8. Practice aloud.
This builds confidence and emotional readiness.
9. Use strategies to stay calm.
Pause, breathe deeply, and bring water.
10. Speak from the heart.
That is what people will remember most.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Writing a eulogy while grieving can feel emotionally overwhelming.
Get help from family and friends to help you build confidence and find the write words.
Whether you are struggling to begin, unsure what to include, or simply afraid of leaving something important out, a little guidance can make the process feel lighter.
Need help finding the right words?
Preparing a eulogy can feel emotional and overwhelming. Our guided experience helps you reflect on memories, stories, and meaningful moments to create a heartfelt tribute that honors someone you love.
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