What to Do When Someone Dies: A Step-by-Step Checklist
- Lastly.com
- May 13
- 15 min read
Last words matter™
When someone you love passes away, the days that follow can feel overwhelming. In the middle of grief, shock, and emotion, families are often expected to make important decisions almost immediately.
From notifying loved ones and planning funeral arrangements to handling legal paperwork and financial responsibilities, it can feel impossible to know where to begin.
If you are facing the loss of a parent, spouse, sibling, child, family member, or close friend, know this: you do not have to figure everything out all at once.
This step-by-step guide walks you through what to do when someone dies, including the immediate first steps, funeral planning, legal responsibilities, and practical tasks that follow in the days and weeks ahead.
Use this as a calm, organized checklist during a difficult time — and return to it whenever you need guidance.
Quick Navigation:
Important Financial and Legal Tasks After a Death
Quick Checklist: What to Do When Someone Dies
Obtain legal pronouncement of death
Notify immediate family
Contact a funeral home
Secure home, pets, and valuables
Gather important documents
Order death certificates
Plan funeral or memorial service
Notify Social Security and financial institutions
Begin obituary and memorial planning
What to Do Immediately After Someone Dies
The first few hours after a death are often emotional and disorienting. Try not to feel pressure to make every decision right away. Focus first on the immediate practical steps.
1. Obtain a Legal Pronouncement of Death
A legal pronouncement of death is required before funeral arrangements or official documentation can begin.
What happens next depends on where the person passed away:
At home under hospice care: Contact the hospice nurse or organization first. They will guide you through the next steps.
At home unexpectedly: Call 911 immediately.
At a hospital or nursing facility: Staff will typically handle the pronouncement process.
In an accident or public setting: Emergency personnel and local authorities will guide the process.
Once the death has been officially pronounced, the funeral home can transport your loved one into their care.
What to Do If Someone Dies at Home
When someone dies at home, the experience can feel especially overwhelming and emotional. In those first moments, it may be difficult to think clearly or know what steps to take next. While every situation is different, understanding the process can help bring a small sense of calm and direction during a very difficult time.
What happens next usually depends on whether the death was expected or unexpected.
If the Person Was Under Hospice Care
If your loved one was receiving hospice care, contact the hospice nurse or hospice provider first. In most cases, you do not need to call 911.
A hospice nurse will typically:
Come to the home to officially pronounce the death
Help guide you through the immediate next steps
Contact the funeral home if arrangements were preplanned
Provide emotional support and practical guidance
Hospice professionals are experienced in helping families through these moments and can often make the process feel less overwhelming.
If the Death Was Unexpected
If the death was sudden or unexpected, call 911 immediately.
Emergency responders will:
Assess the situation
Officially pronounce the death or involve the appropriate medical personnel
Determine whether the coroner or medical examiner needs to be contacted
In some situations, authorities may need to ask questions or briefly investigate the circumstances surrounding the death. While this can feel unsettling, it is a normal part of the process when the cause of death is unclear or unexpected.
Contact Close Family Members and Loved Ones
Once the immediate medical steps have been handled, begin notifying close family members and loved ones.
You do not need to contact everyone at once. Many families find it helpful to ask one trusted relative or friend to help communicate updates, answer calls, and share service information.
During emotional moments like these, even small help from others can make a meaningful difference.
Contact a Funeral Home
After the death has been legally pronounced, a funeral home can arrange transportation and begin helping you with next steps.
A funeral director may assist with:
Transportation of your loved one
Funeral or cremation planning
Death certificate paperwork
Obituary guidance
Coordination of memorial services
If your loved one made arrangements in advance, try to locate any funeral planning paperwork or written wishes before selecting a provider.
Take a Moment Before Rushing Into Decisions
The hours after a death at home can feel surreal and emotionally exhausting. Try not to feel pressure to make every decision immediately.
Focus first on:
Immediate care and notifications
Gathering important documents
Supporting close family members
Resting when possible
There will be time later for additional planning and decisions. In the earliest moments after a loss, simply taking the next step is enough.
2. Notify Immediate Family and Close Friends
Start by contacting the closest family members and friends. You do not need to notify everyone personally right away.
If possible:
Ask one trusted family member to help make calls and send messages.
Create a group text or email chain for updates.
Designate one person to communicate service details later.
Many people find this step emotionally exhausting, so allow others to help.
3. Locate Any End-of-Life Documents or Wishes
If available, gather:
A will or trust
Advance directives
Funeral or burial instructions
Prepaid funeral plans
Organ donation information
Military discharge papers (for veterans benefits)
Insurance policies
Do not panic if you cannot find everything immediately. Many documents can be located later.
4. Secure the Home, Pets, and Vehicles
In the first hours after a death, there may be practical matters that require attention:
Ensure the home is locked and secure.
Arrange care for pets.
Remove valuables if the property will be unattended.
Move vehicles if necessary.
Water plants or collect mail.
These simple tasks often get overlooked during grief.
5. Take a Moment Before Making Major Decisions
Families often feel pressured to move quickly after a death. While some decisions are time-sensitive, many are not.
You do not need to:
Choose every funeral detail immediately
Rush into expensive purchases
Clean out belongings
Resolve family disagreements
Make major financial decisions
Pause when possible. Grief can affect judgment and emotional energy.
What to Do Within the First 24 Hours
Once the immediate shock settles slightly, attention typically shifts toward funeral arrangements, notifications, and logistics.
1. Choose a Funeral Home or Cremation Provider
Selecting the right funeral home is one of the most important early decisions.
When comparing providers, consider:
Reputation and reviews
Pricing transparency
Services offered
Religious or cultural accommodations
Cremation vs. burial options
Whether they feel compassionate and trustworthy
Funeral pricing can vary significantly between providers. Ask for an itemized price list before making decisions.
Typical funeral costs may include:
Professional services
Transportation
Embalming or preparation
Casket or urn
Use of facilities
Obituary notices
Flowers
Cemetery or burial fees
A trustworthy funeral director should help guide you—not pressure you. Funeral providers are required to provide transparent pricing information upon request.
2. Inform Extended Family and Friends
After immediate family has been notified, begin informing:
Extended relatives
Friends
Employers
Faith communities
Neighbors
Community organizations
Some families choose:
Personal phone calls
Group emails or texts
Social media announcements
A formal obituary
There is no perfect approach. Do what feels manageable.
3. Begin Discussing Funeral or Memorial Preferences
If your loved one left instructions, use them as your guide. If not, try to make choices that reflect their personality, beliefs, and values.
You may need to decide:
Burial or cremation
Funeral vs. memorial service
Religious or non-religious ceremony
Public or private service
Viewing or visitation
Location of services
Remember: there is no “correct” type of memorial. Some families prefer traditional funerals, while others choose celebrations of life, graveside services, or intimate gatherings.
4. Gather Important Information for the Death Certificate
You will likely need:
Full legal name
Date of birth
Social Security number
Parents’ names
Marital status
Occupation
Military service details
Place of birth
The funeral home usually helps file the death certificate paperwork.
5. Start Thinking About the Obituary
Writing an obituary can feel intimidating during grief. Start simple.
Gather:
Key life details
Family members
Career highlights
Hobbies and passions
Military or community service
Funeral information
You do not need to write the perfect obituary immediately. Begin with memories and facts—you can shape it later.
Need help writing an obituary?
Answer a few simple questions, in our LifeReview™ and we’ll help you create a thoughtful, beautifully written tribute for someone you love—or for yourself.
What to Do During the First Week After a Death
The first week is often filled with planning, paperwork, and emotional exhaustion. Try to pace yourself and accept help wherever possible
Planning the Funeral or Memorial Service
Funeral and memorial services help loved ones gather, remember, and support one another.
Every service is unique.
You may choose:
A traditional funeral service
A memorial service
A graveside ceremony
A celebration of life
A private family gathering
A religious service
A nontraditional location such as a beach, park, or family home
The most meaningful services often reflect the personality and life of the person being honored.
When Michael’s mother passed away at home, the first few days felt like a blur. Between notifying relatives, meeting with the funeral home, arranging travel for family members, and gathering old photographs for the service, even simple decisions felt emotionally exhausting. Many families experience this same combination of grief and responsibility after a loss. That’s why it can help to slow down, focus on one step at a time, and accept support wherever it’s offered.
Decide Who Will Participate
Friends and family members often appreciate having a role in the service.
Possible roles include:
Giving the eulogy
Reading scripture or poetry
Sharing stories
Playing music
Singing
Leading prayers
Organizing photos or displays
Preparing food
Greeting guests
Including loved ones can help create connection, healing, and closure.
Select Meaningful Music and Readings
Music and readings often become some of the most memorable parts of a service.
Consider including:
Favorite songs
Religious hymns
Instrumental music
Poems
Scripture passages
Quotes
Letters or journal excerpts
Personal touches matter far more than perfection.
Create a Photo Display or Slideshow
Families often gather:
Printed photographs
Home videos
Awards and memorabilia
Military items
Artwork
Hobbies or collections
These displays help tell the story of a person’s life and create moments of remembrance for guests.
Consider a Reception or Gathering
Many families hold a gathering after the service where loved ones can:
Share memories
Offer support
Reconnect with family
Celebrate the person’s life
This can be formal or simple:
Church fellowship hall
Family home
Restaurant
Backyard gathering
Community center
Often, these quieter conversations become some of the most healing moments.
Writing an Obituary
An obituary serves as both an announcement and a tribute. It honors a person’s life while sharing service details with the community. For greater help, please visit our Obituary Templates & Examples: How to Write an Obituary.
A typical obituary includes:
Full name
Date of birth and death
Family information
Career and accomplishments
Hobbies and passions
Military or community service
Funeral details
Donation requests
The best obituaries feel personal and human—not overly formal.
You may also want to:
Include a favorite quote
Share a funny memory
Mention what made them unique
Highlight their kindness, humor, or faith
If multiple family members are contributing, designate one editor to combine everything into a cohesive tribute.
Writing a Eulogy
A eulogy is more personal than an obituary. It is typically spoken during the service and reflects memories, stories, and emotions. Another great resource for you is our article, How to Write a Eulogy: Step-by-Step with Examples.
A meaningful eulogy often includes:
Personal stories
Lessons learned from the person
Humor and warmth
Their impact on others
Gratitude and love
You do not need to sound like a professional speaker. Authenticity matters most.
Simple and heartfelt is often more powerful than polished and perfect.
Need help writing a eulogy?
Answer simple questions, in our LifeReview™, and we’ll guide you in creating a heartfelt eulogy you can confidently deliver.
Order Multiple Certified Death Certificates
One of the most commonly overlooked steps after a death is ordering enough death certificates.
You will likely need certified copies for:
Banks
Insurance claims
Social Security
Pension accounts
Investments
Property transfers
Probate
Vehicle titles
Many families need more copies than expected.
A common recommendation is:
10–15 certified copies for larger estates
Fewer for simpler estates
It is usually easier to order extras upfront.
Notify the Employer
If the deceased was employed, contact their employer regarding:
Final paycheck
Benefits
Life insurance
Retirement accounts
Unused vacation pay
If you are the surviving spouse or family member, ask about:
Health insurance continuation
Employee assistance programs
Survivor benefits
Notify Schools, Churches, and Organizations
Depending on the person’s involvement, you may need to notify:
Schools or universities
Churches
Volunteer organizations
Clubs
Professional associations
These groups may also help spread service information and offer support.
Important Financial and Legal Tasks After a Death
After the funeral arrangements are underway, attention usually turns toward legal and financial responsibilities.
This process can take weeks or months. Focus on one step at a time.
Locate the Will or Estate Documents
A will typically names:
The executor
Beneficiaries
Guardianships
Asset distribution wishes
If there is no will, state laws determine how the estate is handled.
If the estate is complex, consider consulting:
An estate attorney
Probate attorney
Financial advisor
Contact Social Security
In many cases, the funeral home notifies the Social Security Administration.
You may still need to:
Confirm benefits stop appropriately
Apply for survivor benefits
Return payments issued after death
Surviving spouses and dependent children may qualify for benefits.
Notify Banks and Financial Institutions
Eventually, you will need to contact:
Banks
Credit card companies
Mortgage lenders
Investment firms
Pension administrators
Do not immediately close accounts unless advised by the estate executor or attorney.
Some accounts may need to remain open temporarily for estate purposes.
Cancel or Transfer Utilities and Services
Create a list of recurring services such as:
Utilities
Cell phone plans
Streaming subscriptions
Internet
Insurance policies
Magazine subscriptions
Memberships
Canceling these gradually can help prevent ongoing charges.
Manage Digital Accounts and Social Media
Today, digital legacy management is increasingly important.
You may need to address:
Email accounts
Facebook or Instagram memorialization
Cloud storage
Online banking
Password managers
Subscription services
Some platforms allow memorialized accounts that preserve memories while preventing future use.
If the Person Was a Veteran
Veterans may qualify for:
Burial benefits
Military honors
Burial flags
Cemetery benefits
You will often need discharge paperwork (DD-214 form).
Ask the funeral home about coordinating veterans benefits if applicable.
What NOT to Do After Someone Dies
During grief, families are vulnerable emotionally and financially. Try to avoid rushing through major decisions.
Avoid Overspending Under Pressure
Funeral expenses can add up quickly.
Remember:
You can compare providers
You can ask for itemized pricing
You do not need the most expensive options to create a meaningful tribute
Love is not measured by the cost of a funeral.
Do Not Rush to Empty the Home
Sorting belongings can be emotionally overwhelming.
Many families later regret:
Donating items too quickly
Throwing away handwritten notes
Discarding photos or keepsakes
Take your time when possible.
Avoid Major Financial Decisions During Acute Grief
If possible, avoid:
Selling property immediately
Large investments
Major relocations
Distributing inheritance informally
Grief can cloud judgment.
Try Not to Carry Everything Alone
One of the most common mistakes after a death is trying to handle every responsibility personally.
Allow others to:
Make calls
Bring meals
Coordinate logistics
Help with paperwork
Watch children
Assist with planning
People often genuinely want to help—they just need direction.
Common Mistakes to Avoid After a Death
In the days following a loss, families are often forced to make emotional, financial, and logistical decisions while grieving. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed. While there is no perfect way to navigate this process, being aware of a few common mistakes can help reduce additional stress later on.
1. Trying to Handle Everything Alone
One of the most common mistakes after a death is feeling like you must personally manage every responsibility.
Between notifying family members, planning services, handling paperwork, and supporting others emotionally, the workload can quickly become exhausting.
Allow trusted family members and friends to help with:
Phone calls and notifications
Meal coordination
Funeral planning tasks
Childcare or pet care
Travel arrangements
Collecting photos and memories
People often genuinely want to help—they simply may not know how.
2. Making Major Financial Decisions Too Quickly
Grief can affect concentration, judgment, and decision-making. If possible, avoid making rushed financial choices immediately after a loss.
Try to delay major decisions such as:
Selling a home
Distributing inheritance informally
Making large investments
Closing important accounts too early
Relocating quickly
If the estate is complex, consider speaking with an estate attorney or financial advisor before making significant changes.
3. Overspending on Funeral Arrangements
Many families feel pressure to spend more than they can comfortably afford in order to properly honor their loved one. But meaningful memorials do not need to be extravagant.
Remember:
Funeral homes are required to provide itemized pricing
You can compare providers and services
You are not required to purchase the most expensive options
You may purchase caskets or urns elsewhere
A thoughtful service is not defined by its cost.
“Love is not measured by the cost of a funeral.”
4. Ordering Too Few Death Certificates
Families are often surprised by how many certified death certificates are needed after someone dies.
You may need copies for:
Banks
Insurance claims
Investment accounts
Property transfers
Social Security
Pension benefits
Probate proceedings
Ordering additional copies later can slow down the process, so it’s often easier to request extra certified copies upfront.
5. Forgetting About Digital Accounts and Passwords
Today, much of a person’s life exists online. During the stress of funeral planning and paperwork, digital accounts are easy to overlook.
Eventually, you may need to address:
Email accounts
Online banking
Social media profiles
Subscription services
Cloud photo storage
Password managers
Some platforms allow accounts to be memorialized or transferred to designated family members.
6. Rushing to Clean Out the Home or Belongings
In the early days of grief, emotions can be unpredictable. Many people later regret quickly donating or discarding personal belongings.
If possible:
Take your time sorting items
Save handwritten notes and photographs
Ask family members if there are sentimental items they would like to keep
Wait until emotions are less intense before making major decisions
There is rarely a need to rush this process.
7. Neglecting Your Own Grief and Health
When someone dies, it’s easy to focus entirely on responsibilities and forget basic self-care.
Grief can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Try to:
Rest when possible
Drink water and eat regularly
Accept help from others
Step away from logistics occasionally
Talk openly about your emotions
You do not have to move through grief perfectly or “stay strong” every moment.
8. Feeling Pressure to Get Everything Right
Many people worry about saying the perfect words, planning the perfect service, or handling every detail flawlessly.
But funerals, memorials, and tributes are ultimately about love, remembrance, and connection—not perfection.
The most meaningful moments are often the simplest:
Shared stories
Quiet conversations
Old photographs
Familiar songs
Small acts of kindness
Give yourself permission to do the best you can, one step at a time.
A Simple Checklist for What to Do When Someone Dies
Immediately After the Death
Obtain legal pronouncement of death
Contact hospice, doctor, or 911
Notify immediate family
Secure home, pets, and vehicles
Locate end-of-life documents
Contact funeral home
Within the First 24 Hours
Choose funeral or cremation provider
Inform extended family and friends
Begin funeral planning
Gather information for death certificate
Discuss obituary details
Arrange care for dependents or pets
During the First Week
Finalize funeral or memorial plans
Write obituary
Prepare eulogy or readings
Order death certificates
Notify employer and organizations
Coordinate travel and lodging for family
Gather photos and memorabilia
During the Following Weeks
Contact Social Security
Notify banks and insurance companies
Begin estate or probate process
Cancel subscriptions and utilities
Manage digital accounts
Sort belongings gradually
Continue accepting emotional support
Grief Does Not Follow a Checklist
Even though practical responsibilities arrive quickly after a death, grief rarely moves in a straight line.
Some days may feel productive.Others may feel impossible.
There is no “correct” way to mourn someone you love.
You may experience:
Shock
Numbness
Anger
Relief
Confusion
Sadness
Exhaustion
Guilt
Gratitude
Unexpected moments of peace
All of it can be normal.
Try to give yourself permission to:
Rest
Ask for help
Delay nonessential decisions
Accept support
Remember your loved one in your own way
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens when someone dies at home?
If the person was under hospice care, contact the hospice nurse first. If the death was unexpected, call 911. Emergency personnel or medical professionals must officially pronounce the death before arrangements can continue.
How many death certificates do I need?
Many families order between 10 and 15 certified copies, especially if multiple financial accounts or property transfers are involved.
Who writes the obituary?
Usually a close family member, though funeral homes often help with formatting and submission. Some families collaborate together on the obituary.
How soon does a funeral need to happen?
In many traditions, funerals occur within a few days to two weeks after death, though timing depends on culture, religion, travel logistics, and personal preference.
What if there is no will?
If someone dies without a will, state laws determine how assets are distributed. Probate court may appoint an administrator for the estate.
Who notifies Social Security after a death?
Often the funeral home submits the initial notification, but surviving family members may still need to follow up regarding benefits and payments.
Can a funeral still be meaningful on a limited budget?
Absolutely. Personal touches, stories, music, photographs, and shared memories are often more meaningful than expensive arrangements.
What should you not do after someone dies?
Try to avoid making rushed financial decisions, signing unclear contracts, or immediately disposing of sentimental belongings during early grief.
Is cremation cheaper than burial?
In many cases cremation costs less than a traditional burial, though pricing varies depending on services and memorial choices.
Can someone plan their own funeral in advance?
Yes. Many people pre-plan funeral arrangements, memorial preferences, and end-of-life wishes to reduce stress for loved ones later.
Final Thoughts
When someone dies, the number of decisions and responsibilities can feel overwhelming. But you do not have to handle everything perfectly—or all at once.
Take the next step in front of you. Lean on people you trust. Accept help when it is offered.
And most importantly, remember that beyond the paperwork, planning, and logistics, this moment is ultimately about honoring a life, supporting one another, and preserving the memories that matter most.
Need help getting started?
The days after a loss can feel overwhelming. Our guided experience helps families organize memories, reflect on a loved one's life, and create meaningful tributes, including obituaries and eulogies.
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